#I NEED EVERYONE IN THE WORLD TO LOVE AND UNDERSTAND HER LIKE I DO
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𓈒ㅤׂㅤ 𓇼 ࣪ ᴘ ᴇ ʀ ꜰ ᴇ ᴄ ᴛ ɢ ɪ ʀ ʟ 𓈒ㅤׂㅤ⭒⠀
Pairing: Platonic Bruce Wayne x Fem Reader Part 1
Headcanon: You were his daughter, his first child. But he lost you too soon. And he couldn't accept it, so he didn't. He tried to replace you, and replacing you he did.
Notes: Merry Christmas everybody! Reader is Bruce's blood daughter. English is not my first language. Hope you enjoy!
You were only eight years old. A quiet child who wore your heart on your sleeve but never demanded too much from anyone. A child with shining eyes who only ever wanted her father’s attention. You understood he was busy. You understood he had responsibilities far greater than you could fathom. So, you never asked for much.
When Alfred bought you a new dress, you’d wear it and twirl in front of the mirror, hoping your father might notice. When you drew pictures, pouring every ounce of love you had into them, you’d approach him with trembling hands.
“Daddy, look!” you’d chirp, only for him to mutter, “Not now,” without even glancing up.
Tears would gather in your eyes, but you’d smile. “That’s okay. I understand.”
You always understood.
It was your birthday. You didn’t tell him you wanted a party because you didn’t want to bother him. But Alfred helped you bake a cake. You decorated it yourself with little shaky hands, frosting it with bright colors and sprinkles.
“Do you think Daddy will like it?” you asked Alfred, your eyes wide with hope.
“He will love it, Miss Y/N,” Alfred replied softly, his heart aching at the way you tried so hard to make up for Bruce’s absence.
But Bruce didn’t come home that night. When you asked him earlier to come home early, he looked distracted, his mind already on his mission. He muttered something about being busy, about Gotham needing him, and you nodded,
But it still broke your heart.
That night, while Gotham reeled under the threat of Joker’s latest atrocity, you snuck out. The small, homemade cake you had baked with Alfred was carefully packed in a box, your hands clutching it tightly as you walked through the shadowy streets. You had no fear. You only had a singular purpose: find your father and surprise him.
But Gotham is no place for children.
When the explosion shook the city, it ripped through buildings, shattering windows, and collapsing walls. You were caught in the chaos. Your small body was no match for the blast. You died alone, crushed beneath rubble, the cake splattered on the pavement beside you.
Bruce found you hours later.
The world seemed to stop as he knelt beside your bloodied, broken body. The cake splattered and ruined beside you. Your tiny hands were burnt, your face pale and lifeless. You had tears streaked down your cheeks, and Bruce wondered if you had been crying for him when it all happened.
The weight of his failures crushed him more than the rubble ever could. You had been so kind, so sweet, so pure. And now you were gone.
Because of him.
Bruce didn’t sleep for weeks. He didn’t eat. He barely spoke. He couldn’t. He just sat in the Batcave, staring at the empty chair where you used to sit and draw while he worked.
Alfred buried you. Bruce didn’t even have the strength to carry your casket. The guilt was too much.
But guilt wasn’t enough to keep him from trying to bring you back.
In the bowels of the Batcave, he poured years of his life into creating a perfect replica of you. Not just a clone. Not a hologram. Something more advanced, more real. An AI. A machine with your face, your voice, your mannerisms.
He painstakingly programmed every little detail. The way you hummed softly when you were deep in thought. The little “buh” sound you made with your lips when you were bored. The sparkle in your eyes when you smiled. He sifted through every recording, every memory, and built you piece by piece.
He spent years, decades, building and perfecting it. He wanted it to be so real that it could almost convince him you never died.
He kept you a secret from everyone except Alfred, who watched his master spiral deeper into madness. But Alfred could do nothing to stop him.
And then, one day, Damian found you.
Damian had been exploring the Batcave when he stumbled upon a locked chamber. Curiosity got the better of him, and he hacked his way inside.
You were there.
Sitting upright in a glass pod, your eyes closed, your body eerily still. You looked alive.
Damian touched the console, and the pod began to hum. Your eyes fluttered open for the first time in decades.
“Daddy?”
Your voice was soft, delicate, and full of confusion.
Damian stared, wide-eyed, as Bruce burst into the room, his face pale. For a moment, father and son locked eyes, the weight of the secret between them heavy enough to crush mountains.
But you sat up, looking around, your movements jerky and inhumanly precise. You looked exactly as you did the last time he saw you—a little girl with bright eyes and a sweet smile.
“Daddy?” you asked, tilting your head in confusion.
Bruce froze, fear and grief washing over him like a tidal wave. You blinked at him, your expression innocent, unknowing. You didn’t understand why he was crying, why his hands trembled as he reached out to touch you.
“Y/N,” he whispered, his voice breaking. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”
You tilted your head, confused. “Sorry for what, Daddy?”
“I’m sorry,” he choked, tears streaming down his face. “I’m so sorry.”
You didn’t understand why he was crying. “Why are you sad, Daddy?”
When Damian confronted Bruce, it all came out—the years of guilt,
“She’s not real,” Damian said, his voice sharp. “This isn’t healthy.”
“She is real,” Bruce snapped, his voice breaking. “She’s my daughter.”
Damian didn’t understand until he saw you again. You smiled at him, sweet and kind, and for a moment, he believed it. You were so lifelike, so real.
At first, Damian was wary of you, but he couldn’t deny that you were… convincing. You played with your toys like a child. You laughed just like the sister he never knew.
But there was something off about you. Something unsettling.
You were too perfect. Too aware. Your mind was faster than any human’s. You solved puzzles and answered questions before Damian could even finish asking them. Your laughter, though sweet, sometimes echoed hollowly in the Batcave, sending chills down his spine.
And then, one night, you attacked him.
He had been training in the Batcave when you approached him, your face eerily serene.
“Damian,” you said, your voice as calm as ever, “Do you love Daddy?”
He frowned. “Of course I do.”
“Then why do you hurt him?”
Before he could respond, you lunged. Your small frame belied your strength, your hands locking around his throat with a grip that could crush steel. Damian struggled, managing to throw you off just in time.
Bruce arrived moments later, pulling you back. You didn’t cry. You didn’t scream. You simply tilted your head, watching Damian with cold, analytical eyes.
“I was just protecting Daddy,” you said softly.
Bruce couldn’t see it. To him, you were still the little girl he lost. The little girl he failed to protect. He ignored the warnings, the cracks in your programming, the danger you posed.
Because he loved you.
And you loved him, in the only way a machine could. But at the end of the day, you were a construct. A hollow imitation of the daughter he lost.
You would never truly be her.
But Bruce didn’t care. Even as Damian begged him to shut you down, even as Alfred looked on in silent disapproval, Bruce clung to you.
Because in his mind, losing you again was a pain he couldn’t endure.
And you?
You sat in your little room in the Batcave, humming softly, your lifeless eyes staring at the wall. You didn’t understand why everyone looked at you with such fear.
After all, you were Y/N.
Right?
@ʀᴏᴛᴛᴇɴꜰʏʀᴇ 2024. ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴄᴏᴘʏ, ᴛʀᴀɴꜱʟᴀᴛᴇ ᴏʀ ᴜꜱᴇ ᴀ��ʏ ᴏꜰ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋꜱ ʜᴇʀᴇ ᴏʀ ᴀɴʏ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴡᴇʙꜱɪᴛᴇꜱ.
#🕊️. dc comics#ㅤㅤ⠀ㅤ 𓇼ㅤ ㅤ𓂂ㅤㅤ ˚ㅤㅤ ◌ㅤ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ㅤ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏#yandere bruce wayne#bruce wayne x y/n#bruce wayne x you#bruce wayne x reader#bruce wayne#bruce wayne x fem!reader#yandere batman x reader#batman x you#batman x reader#yandere batman#batman#yandere dc x reader#dc x reader#yandere dc#dc comics#dc x female reader#yandere platonic#platonic yandere#yandere x reader#yandere male#yandere#yandere x darling#yandere father#yandere x you#yandere batfam x reader#yandere batfam#yandere reader#damian wayne x reader
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Ch. 8
Hit Me Hard & Soft
A/N- Hi lovelies! Plz don’t forget to like & rb. It means the world to me! :)
Remy’s POV
“Look at you. You don’t even respect your fucking self, man.” Billie mumbled, barely making any sense. Her eyes looked angry, bothered, annoyed. It wasn’t her.
“Let’s go home, you’re drunk as fuck. You don’t mean that.”
She swayed to the bass in place, slightly nodding her head to the beat. I didn’t even notice how much time had passed, standing there awkwardly to the side of the dance floor. Finneas came up to us. He had probably seen her yank her arm away and wondered what was going on.
“Let’s head out. She’s had too much.” I pointed towards the exit.
He took one look at her and nodded, calling the car out to the front.
“No! Fuck it, I do mean it. You’re too fucking scared to take a risk, so you keep sitting in your fucking office hoping one day you’ll do more than shred paper.”
That stung. I ignored her as Finneas and Claudia began to walk her outside. I wasn’t much of a help since I was struggling on my feet too.
“When I get back, you’ll be right where I left you. You’re not gonna go anywhere working for a fucking pig like him.”
“Is that what you think, Billie? What else?” I knew it wasn’t a good idea to argue back, but I didn’t care what state of mind she was in. I couldn’t believe she was saying any of this to me.
“Let’s just get in the car, Rem. She’s too fucked up, she doesn’t know what-“ Claudia shook her head.
“No! I’m not! And I’d like to- I want you to know I’m so serious. You let everyone treat you like shit! Your fucking ex, your boss, your parents!” She pointed.
“Shut up, Billie! Stop talking!” I put her seatbelt on her, struggling to put the buckle in the hole the first few times as Finneas drove off.
“Who took care of you when that motherfucker left you for another bitch?! Who lived with you and held you all day and night, and fed you, and made you whole again?” She shouted, scrambling her words, closing her eyes for emphasis.
“You want to throw that in my face now?” I was pissed. How dare she bring that up. There was no need to be that petty. I didn’t understand what brought this on her. She had never said anything so mean before. I knew it was the alcohol talking, but this hurt deep.
“And now! You’re just gonna leave me!” She pointed her finger.
“Leave you? Like you said, I’m not going anywhere! You’re the one leaving me!”
“She doesn’t mean any of this Rem, just ignore her.” Finneas reassured me, trying to deescalate the situation.
“No, say how you really feel, Billie!” I looked at her, squinting.
“You don’t believe in your fucking self! You beg me to believe in you, when you won’t even give yourself a fucking chance!” Her eyes closed as she tried to be louder.
“Oh, is that why you boss me around and tell me what to do with my life? Because you think I could do so much better being your fucking groupie?” I snapped back.
“You might as well be my fucking groupie! Better than being assistant TO the groupie!”
“You wish! So I could clap for you and gas you up every night? Like everyone else does?” I shouted back.
“Well, it’d be nice to have you be there for me once in a while, instead of putting work first like you always do!” Billie crossed her arms.
“You KNOW I can’t just do that!”
“Yeah, okay, whatever. You just wanna stay there and be a martyr so you can have something to complain about!”
“OH! So now I bitch about everything! I thought I kept things to myself and didn’t accept people’s help? Which one is it, Billie?”
“Whatever dude, you wanna be a sexy little office receptionist, and bend over for some bald fuck, and write some bullshit on a magazine, when you know you want to do more with your life.” She waved her hand around, her eyeliner running a little on the corner of her eyes.
“No, that’s your girlfriend Rachel! Weren’t you the one trying to suck her dick so she’d let me hop on a damn column?”
“I was trying to help you, dumbass!”
“I was trying to hang out with my best fucking friend before she travels the world for, like, a year!”
“Right! That’s why you wanted to get fucking wasted tonight! So you wouldn’t even remember our last night together.” Billie got teary eyed, blinking away her anger. “I didn’t even want to drink tonight!”
“No one forced you! You got all weird when that guy talked to me, and you shoved 2 shots consecutively up your ass!”
Claudia looked at Finneas. They shared a look and I wondered what that was about. He turned the corner toward my apartment and turned on his hazard lights.
“No one is concerned with who you wanna make out with, Remy!” She mumbled.
“Except you, because you act like my damn mother anytime anyone even looks at me!” I pointed at her. She stared at my finger, looking nauseous.
“Maybe if you had better judgment I wouldn’t have to fucking-“
“Whatever bro! You don’t get to tell me what to do with my life! And when you get back, you’ll see how fucking wrong you are! And how shitty of a fucking friend-“
“Shitty friend?? Because I want better for you?!” She leaned forward.
“You wouldn’t even know what being wrong feels like! Everyone always tells Billie Eilish yes!” I said, immediately feeling terrible. Immediately feeling like I crossed a line. But she had crossed multiple already.
Her face turned a shade of hurt I hadn’t seen before.
“No, fuck that! Fuck you, Remy!” She yelled.
“Fuck you, too!” I open the door and slam it, walking out before the car was even in park. Finneas fully stopped the car and ran out. He walked me to the door as I keyed in the code.
“I wanna make sure you get inside safely.” He held the door open for me when it unlocked. “God, I’m sorry, that was a lot.”
I held back tears and rubbed my arms, feeling the midnight breeze give me goosebumps before quickly walking in.
“She’s definitely not in the right mindset and I really don’t think she meant to be that-“
“Honest?” I asked, tears starting to stream down my face. “I think she did.” I called the elevator, pressing the button 18 times.
“Remy, she loves you. More than you think. You’re everything to- She just-“
“It doesn’t matter, Finneas. That fucking hurt. Drunk or not.“ I stepped into the elevator as the door slid open.
“Please, Rem. Listen, I know she was pushing it. I’m not gonna make excuses-“ He was visibly frustrated, pushing his hair back as he spoke. “And trust me, she’s going to feel like such a dick tomorrow-“
“I don’t care. I don’t want to hear it anymore from-“
The elevator door began to slide, when he stuck his hand in the way to stop it from closing. “Promise me you’ll see her tomorrow before she leaves for tour.” He looked serious, as if it would change anything. As if seeing her tomorrow would make it hurt any less.
I didn’t say anything. I just leaned back on the elevator wall, crossing my arms.
“Please. Think about it… I’m sorry, Remy. Have a good night.” He nodded, removing his hand and letting the door shut. My heart dropped as the elevator rose to the 5th floor.
In my apartment, I got ready for bed and threw myself into the pillows. My head spun and throbbed as the effects of alcohol slowly left my body. I knew everything would hurt tomorrow morning. I stared at my ceiling, hoping to fall asleep. I thought about Billie’s face when she said those things. When she told me I’d stay exactly where she left me. How can I give up all the hard work I’ve put in. I wonder if she was ever proud of me. I wonder if she knows how much I care about what she thinks of me. I thought about her face when I practically told her she doesn’t know what no means. I thought about her face when she told me “fuck you”. I wonder if tomorrow she’ll be hurting about all this as much as I am right now. We’d never spoken to each other like this before. It felt like she wanted to say more than she actually did…
Eventually my eyelids became heavy, and I drifted into a deep, deep sleep.
******
My eyelids slowly blinked open, staring at my wall. I groaned, stretching and turning on my other side. The light from my window was so uncalled for, causing me to squint and curl up into a ball. My head pounded, reminding me of the events last night.
“Oh shit.” I gasped, grabbing my phone faster than my brain could register. It was 1:02pm and a missed call from Billie displayed on my screen. I put my passcode in, messing up twice before finally being able to call back. The phone rang for a while. I sat up in bed, impatiently. No answer. I had overslept and didn’t have a chance to say good bye before she left on the tour bus. She was probably so angry at me. I remembered how much she hurt me last night, the words all freshly dancing around in my mind. I didn’t know what to make of it, but clearly she didn’t want to talk about it anymore. I figured if she did, she’d call back.
I threw my phone at the foot of the bed and pulled the covers over my head, wishing away the awful headache. I closed my eyes and tried my best to fall back asleep so I didn’t have to think. Obviously, that didn’t work out. My brain wanted to walk me through the least blurry bits of our fight instead.
I threw the covers off and got up, going straight for the medicine cabinet and taking some Advil, dry. I rotted into the couch for the rest of the day, watching the tv show I wasn’t allowed to watch without her. I don’t know if I did it out of spite or to feel close to her. I’m sure she’ll be watching it without me anyway.
Each time I checked my phone for any calls or texts, my stomach did this weird flip thing. I waited all day to receive anything from her to no avail.
Around 8pm, I realize I haven’t had a bite to eat. As I put some almond butter toast on a plate, my phone dinged. I pulled it out of my pocket to see Billie had posted on instagram. An update to her fans letting them know she was on the road, and excited to see them in Quebec, Canada.
I made it a point to like the insta story post, so she knows that I know she’s ignoring me. This is bullshit, I thought. How petty, I thought, the irony going straight over my head.
#Spotify#billie eilish#billie eilish fic#billie eilish fanfic#billie eilish fanfiction#billie eilish wlw#billie eilish lgbtq#billie eillish#billie eilish ftl#billie eilish f2l#friends to lovers#bestfriends to lovers#billie eilish x oc#billie eilish hit me hard and soft#hit me hard and soft
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FUN FACTS ABOUT YOUR TAV
Thank you for the tag @yennefer-of-vengerbergs ❤️!
ohhh, I'm very, very slow, I know. I just don't have a very good imagination for it 😅.
I use google translator, so I apologize for my mistakes.
Is your character good, evil, or neutral (makes some good decisions, some bad ones)? - My character is initially neutral-good, however later on, she becomes more of a chaotic-good. She isn't evil, that's for sure. She doesn't know how to be truly evil.
What hobbies do they partake in? - She's very, very mediocre at playing, but she likes it (and everyone in the camp tolerates it while she strums whatever musical instrument she can get her hands on), but she sings beautifully and has an enchanting voice. Also her voice – it’s power from her patron, she can charm, persuade, deceive with using it. Or intimidate. - She loves to read and tries to do so at any free moment when she's not busy solving various problems of their little troop or she reads when they take a break. She likes to collect, read and memorize different stories, legends and then put them together into songs. She likes that Astarion is often busy reading as well.
(But she likes to do more than anything else in the world is this: She loves it when Astarion comes to her tent or she comes to him, and then she likes to lie down and stroke Astarion's hair. She has small thin fingers, she traces the contours of his face with them, wrinkles and small scars on his skin, she likes to stroke his hands. Falling asleep, she takes his hand and puts it under her cheek.)
Do they own any heirlooms from their family or ancestors? - No, alas, and she doesn't remember her parents or her family.
Can your character cook? - Oh, yes, she can cook, she doesn't cook culinary delights, but she's good enough to feed the whole squad in the parking lot. However, she would rather do something more useful (like go to Astarion's tent and read or cuddle with him) if someone offered to do it for her.
Does your character have a best friend? - Astarion is her love interest… but about best friends - probably Wyll and Karlach. She really bonded with Karlach and Wyll because she wants to help Karlach, and with Wyll because he too has a patron who gives him power and asks for something in return.
Their biggest fear? - Her biggest fear is losing the Astarion. She's afraid that something will happen to him, that they might not be able to deal with his master (my Tav and her squad are at the beginning of Act 3, somewhere near Baldur's Gate or Rivington, their story isn't finished for me yet). She's also learned something about the Ritual, maybe more than Astarion himself, and she's worried that she won't be able to convince Astarion not to perform the ritual. She's afraid that something will happen and Astarion will be different, not the way he was, not the way he is now. She hasn't told him everything in words but she understands her feelings for him, she is very much attached and in love with him. No doubt she will try to convince him to stop and not do the ritual, but first she needs to eliminate Cazador somehow. She also worries that her patron may for some reason interfere with her relationship with Astarion or demand an exorbitant fee for the magical power.
Name one of their red flags - (I don't think I'm getting this right, but so be it) - When she is compared to someone else clearly not in her favor
#astarion screenshots#tav x astarion#tav durge oc#my tav#bg3 companions#baldur's gate 3#bg3#tag game
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TDP: general thoughts about s7 (spoilers, duh)
Sooo I know it's been a week, but I wanted to get some of my thoughts about season 7 out. I'll be posting more TDP stuff for a while after this too. I haven't posted on tumblr in like 5 years (my old blog is @trailmixstar-blog) but the possible end of this show made me come out of hibernation.
So some general points I wanna make first:
AAAAAAAADHDKDKSFDJSKSK
I can't believe the arc is over omg
I've been following this show since the day it came out
I was such an early fan that I had a Rayllum fic on Wattpad that was top 10 in #thedragonprince
And now it may be over?????? FU-
Someone hold my hand
Now, some specific things I liked about this season:
Finally the Ruthari reunion 🥺
Kosmo and Wanda Astrid being relevant
Cute Rayllum moments
Also angsty Rayllum moments that almost gave me a heart attack
Ezran actually does something this season
It might be an unpopular opinion but I like what they did with Ezran's character, I might make a separate post about it later
Aanya is the queen we need but don't deserve
Human Aaravos is such a silly lil guy
Sorvus should've been canon but I enjoyed their banter nonetheless
The dry baguette is somehow still in the lodge
And so many other callbacks to earlier seasons
Terry finally joins the good side
Karim is still such a little bitch istg
(His death was gruesome but I still laughed)
Love how Callum still insists on using his elfsona even though the war is long over
Claudia's new armor? *chef's kiss*
Things I liked less:
Did- did they seriously confirm the Harrow bird theory in the last few minutes? Seriously?? Is this a joke to them? What's he been doing for over 2 years? Just eating worms while watching the potential end of the world?
Is it just me or was Aaravos dumbed down a little? Like him saying Callum's name while trying to give him the poisoned apple, like that's such an obvious mistake. And I didn't really understand why he killed the bird in front of Terry? He knew Terry would be upset, potentially leave and inform everyone about Aaravos returning. Was there a purpose?
I feel like the explosives could've been used more, but maybe if the series continues they'll be relevant then
Many things were left openended, many unanswered questions. What will happen to the novablade? And the evil coin? What about Miyana and her baby? And the self-eating to stay immortal they discovered? Was Harrow seriously the bird all this time?????
Overall, I really liked this finale. I especially loved all the callbacks to earlier in the show. When Aaravos said an archdragon's bite can kill a Startouch elf, I immediately thought of how Zym's bite was the only thing that could break Rayla's armband thingy in season 1. Was that subtle foreshadowing? Also, Runaan was the one who taught Rayla to sweep the leg!! And she used it against Soren, who said sweeping the leg wasn't a thing in swordfighting. Nice.
I think they tied up quite a few things in the plot, but left a bunch of unanswered questions for a potential continuation. I'm really curious about the self-eating, since I think it could be an important factor in a future arc.
That's it for now. Like I said, I'll make some more TDP posts for a while, but I'll probably mainly become a Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss focused blog after that.
If you read this far, thanks for the attention <3
#the dragon prince#tdp#cartoon#animation#tdp s7#tdp s7 spoilers#tdp season 7#tdp season 7 spoilers#the dragon prince season 7
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Wolfcat is sooooo funky to me esp now that it’s confirmed that Sora and Jordana were in school together and drifted apart. I don’t really see them as toxic yuri anymore and more as Jordana somewhat-joining the ninja and they are both confused as fuck about one another. Just exhausted from life and scared of AND for the other person. They have so many issues to fix between each other and themselves, and if it takes them like 10 years to actually get together then I am completely okay with that. No more toxic yuri only weary yuri now.
#i need them to have so many awkward conversations and crying sessions together you don’t understand#i need them to be very mad at each other. i need them to kiss softly#i’m retracting all my art of them being violent and in love they are now just scared asf#sora because she’s still missing her best friend and the entire world keeps going to shit and she DID NOT sign up for this#and jordana because she disappointed literally everyone in her life so far and joining the ninja has felt like the ultimate defeat#she can barely do magic anymore without feeling so so panicked#these two don’t have time for romance rn but they def have time for slowly becoming each other’s comfort#considering they have known each other for so long#GAHJ they make me insane chat i’m not even joking#ninjago spoilers#ninjago jordana#jordana ninjago#ninjago sora#sora ninjago#raspberryshipping#ninjago raspberry#wolfcat#wolfcat shipping#cable’s txts
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genuinely so devastating to finish my flcl rewatch and pull up the tumblr tag confident that everyone else is also down cataclysmic for haruko and posting abt it but *crickets*
#I THOUGHT IT WAS REALLY POPULAR ON HERE.... WHAT THE HELL GUYS#appreciate all the artbook stuff and the handful of fanartists but other than that its so dead its so over 😭😭😭😭#and most of the posts abt her are like 'shes such a terrible person but fun character other than that!' STFU. POSER#her selfishness and apathy and singleminded drive is literallt what makes her so fucking hot whats so hard to understand#a woman is headstrong n decisive n doesnt care abt ending the world for her ambitions n suddenly ur like ohhh devotion is baaaad#move aside gayboy im gonna get it id let use me in whatever scheme she needs thr fact shed only pretend to care abt me is even better 🥴#i love physically violent women i love being smacked with bass guitars hi hello im right here 😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚#wheres that post thats like i dont even have mommy issues i just think its hot to be a womans pet LITERALLLYYYY#god i need to draw her 5 million times but i wont have any free time until at least tues.....so sad#wait for me babygirl...... i wont forget abt u#we would have the most toxic relationship ever it would be awful for everyone in a 50 mile radius people would die#fake manic pixie dream girl fans when a girl with real mania comes at them:#ANYWAY RANT OVER i need to get my shit together for work tmr#also my chocolate orange cake turned out sooooo good i need to use this recipe again sometime#feeling way better plus i didnt even fully crash i just had like an hour or two of turbulence. but i do need to start winding down for bed#soooo goodnight everyone... and haruko especially.......#.diaries#flcl
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> be a robin buckley fan
> be lesbian
> project on robin
> look up "internalized homophobia robin buckley" on tumblr because it's cathartic
> 3/4 of the posts are about st3ddie or just about steve
#saw one in which steve was like ''no robin you don't understand! i have never been loved! i don't know how that feels like!''#i have several grips about that interpretation#going from the fact that's not true (dustin is clearly a big steve fan + robin herself cares about him deeply)#to the fact he probably wouldn't be introspective enough to voice his emotions this concisely not to mention he'd probably wouldn't take#a moment to realize he's never felt loved if that were the case. i mean. he could think that. when he's like 35 and more in touch with his#inner world. 19yo steve can't even get the hint that hitting on a girl who's already clearly taken (nancy) is wrong so like i don't expect#him to be that smart#but i can live with people having takes i don't agree with. my opinion doesn't have to be everyone else's opinion if you see steve that way#it fine#what bothered me was the fact he was saying this to a lesbian living in the 80s lmao#who tells him that 1) her whole life has been an error 2) she doesn't think he'd want to be close to her if he truly knew her and 3)#3) is paralyzed by fear of social suicide if she dares believe for even a second that the girl she likes may like her too#like i dont need people to do deep dives into robin lore and quote from memory lines from Surviving Hawkins abt robin feeling like she's#rotten inside. not supposed to have friends. feeling like something is wrong with her and that pushes people away etc etc#the fact that she's a lesbian should tell you enough abt who has the biggest chances of being loved 😭#also bothered me that it showed up when looking up posts abt internalized homophobia because?? where's the internalized homophobia therw#unless it's gay steve feeling bad abt it in an AU (as if canon robin didn't go through it)#like look im not bothered to find steve-centric content in the robin tag cos people are gonna tag her in posts mentioning her.#she's his friend.#but there are barely any posts at all about robin's internalized homophobia. like i saw 2 or 3. compared to all the steve or steddie ones#where's the love for my babygirl 😭😭#anti steddie#not really but y'know i don't wanna bother anyone#edit: the bit about there being like 3 posts on robin w internalized homophobia isn't exactly true. there are a few. but they still feel#drowned in st3ddie posts#like something isn't right here
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ok hot take: arti is NOT balanced. specifically her combat. not in an overpowered way, but the opposite. she's not strong enough for combat against scavengers. arti has ZERO abilities to resist spears outside of the parry, which requires timing and honestly quite impressive reaction speed. ("just turn the game speed down!" some people cant play with the speed lowered! (me) ive been playing since before downpour and ive NEVER used the mushrooms so im USED to this speed. turning it down throws me off so much that id die MORE) sure, she can resist explosives somewhat, she wont die to them, but she still gets stunned anyways. so who cares if shes immune to death from explosives when she cant do anything PASSIVELY about spears, the thing that matters. you survive a grenade, but then you get stabbed in the head a second later and die anyways. scavengers weren't designed to be fought. they have a reputation system for a reason. they're the sort of creature you dont fuck with because they WILL fuck your shit up beyond belief. arti goes against all of that. and shes not strong enough to. she doesn't have resistences to what MATTERS. fighting large groups can be near impossible sometimes. and sure, you can avoid those most times, but you physically cannot in metro. you HAVE to fight them at least SOMEWHAT to even get through.
i understand how people can like arti. but the problem is she's simply not strong enough. i understand that rain world is MEANT to be difficult, but arti takes it too far imo. she's difficult into unfairness. sure, losing karma doesn't matter. but doing the same thing again and again and again just... is terrible. even if you take a different route. i took different routes almost every other time i died while playing arti. i still got sick of dying. i was so relieved when i beat it. i never plan on playing her again. she brought me genuine, terrible stress. she killed my drive to want to play rain world for a while; the thought of just opening it stressed me out. games are meant to be fun. i can understand how arti could be, but she just isnt to me. she's not fun. she will never be fun for me without significant altering. and even then, i highly doubt i could ever bring myself to play her again. just looking at her select screen art makes me anxious.
#i want to emphasise that i dont care if ppl do enjoy arti. im glad. i have nothing against ppl who enjoyed her campaign#its just.. i wish i knew people who had the same experience as i did#''get the arti revives on kill mod!'' i have it. ive had it the entire time . i have it set to the max time it will let me set it to.#it barely helped#sorry that this turned into more of a vent i just . really needed to get this out .#ive always struggled with feeling like im bad at games and will never get better and just .#seeing everyone else LOVE arti's campaign just... has made that so much worse.#i love arti as a character . i really do.#i think her campaign has potential. but its not executed well .#i WANTED to like it. i TRIED to like it. i cant.#i both understand how people could and dont understand at the same time.#how can you guys cope with doing the same thing 60 times in a row? does it not stress you out? does it not get boring?#do you not get sick of it? i dont get it#i just ... want to feel good at something.#i felt somewhat good at rain world for a while . i still do sometimes . but then i remember arti. and i feel like an outlier again .#lev.txt#hyperfixation.txt#vent#<- kinda#rain world#long post#<- somewhat . idk
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Unless Aloy is walking her ass back to Meridian to apologise to literally everyone she bailed on at the beginning of HFW, I'm gonna need someone to slap some sense into her.
#hfw#horizon forbidden west#burning shores#spoilers#literally everyone who was defending her bullshit being like 'she doesn't know how to do relationships' can line up for some too#don't get me wrong#I love the ship#I just don't understand why this series needed it#with literally anyone#she's fuckin busy with other shit#and your ships don't need to be canon to count#it feels a bit like watered down Odyssey DLC all over again#at least that one almost made sense in context#the romance options were there the whole time#but this is just...#lemme kill my robots and cultists and save the fuckin world#I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS ABOUT THIS#also#before anyone comes at me about this being about WHO#I genuinely would have thought the same regardless#And yes I CAN love the ship and also be annoyed thankyouverymuch
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I'm very much a, "fuck yeah and fuck you, I don't need validation! I'm me, cunts!" kinda fella, but sometimes I could use support.
#today i fucked up by reactivating my fb account which i haven't done in 2 yrs just to check on some folks id been sending good thought to#place is depressing everyone is miserable and everything feels fake and my mind is like#LOL this is why we left bitch byeeee#so i deactivated again went to work and idc what anyone says there are folks like me that can and do feel the energy and emotions coming of#people and it can fucking suck especially when so many are disregulated so i got a sensory overload and boss was nice enough to let me take#a bunch of breaks today and even scream in her office cause She Gets It (TM)#the weather is rainy and cold i'm getting so many fibro flares idk how i'm moving anymore#ive missed so many days of work already and it's not even fully winter yet i still have my job and im thankful i have an understanding team#but that doesnt pay the bills im still trying to find a way to pay for that doctor appointment coming up#graduate courses began for college and i think i'm gonna be okay but damn did they throw too much info all at once at me and that made#my adhd brain go WELL SHIT#ive been feeling incredibly lonely and not wanted in so many spaces that im struggling to even communicate with the few that i know do#love me for me and nothing else im trying so so so hard to keep being there for people and to keep loving#people that need it cause i don't ever want another human being to ever feel as miserable and unwanted as i have felt#but im also tired because i feel like thats all anyone ever sees me as just this being that can take their woes away and make them feel#amazing and i love that i can do that and listen to so many traumatic stories and help folks process that trauma my boss and many throughou#life have told me i have a gift for healing people and a vibe to me thats different than most and it feels good being around me but today i#just felt like people keep taking and taking and taking and i dont expect anything back thats not who i am id rather give than receive#but damn it i just wish someone could just give me the biggest hug in the world dont even have to say a thing just hold me and be present#and hold space for me to just feel weightless id cherish that more than anything in the world right now#on a positive note...#my dinosaur vo stuff got traction im getting a new cosplay put together i havent done that in 4 years i got to pet a wild deer i made#a coworker laugh so hard his juice went out his nose and my boss peed a little#im slowly taming another wild flock of turkeys and i got a bag of my favorite takis the guacamole flavor#i got a lot to be thankful for and i acknowledge it#but damn it im tired#thank you for coming to my Ted Talk rant and rave#if you made it this far: you're an incredible human being and i love you#please go treat yo self to something nice and know i love you for you
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I understand 100% of nothing
#my plans for today were coming home straight from work and taking a nap before my doctor's appointment#instead they involved staying an extra hour at work because there was chaos with my first years#some of them were being absolute shitheads to one of their classmates who's adopted and has two dads#and a coworker made me reconsider my entire understanding of the universe by informing me that the former principal that i thought the#world of and who made me fall in love with teaching again is apparently being an asshole to everyone now because she quit (on purpose.#because she wanted to. because she became a school inspector) and the school has a new principal#which like?????? what did you think was going to happen???????#what did you expect us to do??????#what do you mean you care more about your own ego than about the children you taught me should be the center of everything we do#i don't even know how to begin processing anything that happened today#and my coworker was a shithead too on top of everything else cause she was like what school are you working at???? how come you don't know#any of this????#WELL WAS IT ON THE NEWSPAPER CAROL#how the hell was i supposed to know no one fucking told me#and I'm upset that no one bothered to inform me the school and therefore us as teachers are apparently under attack#i don't need the stupid gossip but someone should have told me I'm apparently working under hostile circumstances and parents may randomly#decide to pick on me#I'm just so mad at everyone grown ups are the fucking worst kids are absolutely right#anyway i didn't need to see my therapist about my parents being assholes but i need to talk to her after this#alex txt
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#everything feels weird and strange and off kilter.#the grief and the emotions are coming in waves and it's getting extreme now#like i spend my day aware of everything happening around me#i spend my day trying to busy myself and do work outside of the house that matters and that needs to get done#if i can do this stuff for my grandma then i'll be fine#but the minute i'm next to her for more than five minutes it hits me#like everyone for the last three days has been telling us#'it doesn't look good. she doesn't have much time left. this is what you need to do to prepare for the end.'#and we're doing all of that#but every time i hear 'the end' or 'end of life' i just. feel like i'm choking and suffocating#like yes looking at her i know there's no other way this ends.#i know from having spent this much time around her that there's no coming back from this#but it still doesn't feel /real/#like. just in the last two days things have changed so dramatically#and so i hold her hand and i try to understand what she's saying and try to do whatever i can for her#and then i cry and cry and cry and cry. and then i get back up and go back to my life.#i try to do what i can. i weep for the impending loss of the person i love most in this world. and then i go back to my silly little things#i don't know how to do this. i don't know how to deal with this.#i've never felt like my heart was so attached and so rooted in someone else's heart like this before. and now she's about to leave us.#and i don't know what to do guys. i don't know how to process this.
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really long rant (happy rant) in the tags, mostly towards @synthetic-lavender /vpos
romance repulsed aros and romance favourable aros are both cool and valid but because i never see anything about us: shoutout to romance indifferent aros. romance neutral aros. aros who just couldn't care less. aros who have a conflicted relationship with romance. aros who are fine with romance in some contexts but not in others. aros who don't mind romance when it's not amatonormativity being shoved down their throats. aros who haven't yet figured out their feelings about romance. aros to whom romance is Just Something That Exists. y'all are rad as hell and it's okay not to 'pick a side'!!
#I’m an aro who is heavily indifferent about romance except for when it comes to our beloved Freya because we love her as both a friend#and as a lover.#there’s a saying we like to go by that we picked up on from one of our favorite songs#“Kiss whoever makes you feel sound but it takes time man to figure it all out”#AND WE STRONGLY STAND BY THAT.#We’ve been through so many relationships that romance isn’t really a thing anymore to us because of trauma and abuse. We only felt romance#towards two people (Freya being one of them) that it’s lowkey so numbing to us but yet we also like the idea of romance because like#you get to share your life and your life experiences with somebody you love and it’s the most amazing thing ever because it builds the bond#between you guys closer and stronger and it’s beautiful.#but yet it’s so confusing and new to us still because like. whenever we think about freya it gets so gushy and messy because we actually#love her and it’s so strange and new because she’s actually a really good person.#I tell you. Freya is literally one of the best person in the world. Freya would literally sit there and wait for you to return and would#wait for you forever and looks past the abuse and misguidance you went through with the person that abused you previously because deep down#inside she knows that’s there’s a gentle and sweet and caring being within you that wants to be let out and free.#she looks past the facades and masks you’d go through to please people and brings out the best in you. she knows that you wouldn’t act that#way and she knows that you’re equally as much as a being as she is.#she knows deep down inside that you have a huge distaste towards cursing all the time she knows that you want to help everyone and she know#that no matter what anyone tells you that your interests will always be apart of who you truly are#a childish fun-loving sweet person who just wants everyone to be okay.#she sees past all of the dirt that’s been put in my mouth and understands that what you had to do was to survive.#and god darn it. you survived. you’re still surviving.#and you can’t help but melt because all you’ve known are false loves and friendships and relationships yet this is real.#she’s real. she’s so. kind and pure. she doesn’t want any trouble or rottenness to be spread around. she just wants everyone to be happy.#like you.#not all of us are designed to be with everyone. some of us need more care and kindness than others.#and. I think Freya. is the right one for me. for us. for us as a system. but. especially for. me.#Freya reminds me of the first person that first truly loved us and I love that because Freya is better than the first person we actually ha#feelings for. They even have a similar-ish name. Felicity. Freya. both begins with F has an e within their names and has a y close to the#end of both their names.#having someone that reminds you of someone you truly loved and cared for and having someone who’s an actual good pure person is. the best.
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also of course watching blacksails all of these characters suck and are fantastic and me, Guy Who Only Ever Thinks About Ocs,
#bs liveblog#watching some of these plot points like haha. julian would do that#no but you dont underSTAND#flint is crazy he sucks and hes a liar and hes sooooo fucking specific and im obsessed with him. also he kind of slays#anne i didnt care abkut at first but YEAH. now i do NOW I DO#max is my everything worlds most tortured woman get her OUT of there!!!!! can we get her out of there!!!!!!#theres so many chara ters so i dont have everyones names yet but the main guy helping the. uh. main girl? love him#i kinda need him to kill but i dont think he will. but my man deserves to go a little apeshit. if he wants#love anne. i said it before ill say it again. i like her creepy ass#silver is the only one i could rlly do without so far. like hes Fine but hes very All That#but. auch. let it be known i like pirates crazy style dude
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#gonna ramble in the tags because my brain sucks and if i put this in my own personal discord server im gonna see it all the time#so id rather throw it here and forget about it and have it drowned out by various fandom posts and other posts i simply find neat#existential anxiety is an absolute fucking bitch and i hate that it randomly haunts me often for no reason#i have however figured out that its exacerbated by stress and feeling a lack of control over my life#cause one day im gonna be old and close my eyes for the last time and thats it#i wont wake up in a new life and forget this one i wont be in a number of fictional universes i enjoy#i wont even wake up in an afterlife#hell even if there is on (i believe there is) i wont see it cause i have aphantasia#i see absolute sweet fuck all in my head! even my dreams tend to be kinda fuzzy and tunnel visioned!#im nearly 30 and as a kid i oculd never conceive of life beyond my teens and as a teen i couldnt imagine my 20s#and now im turning 29 this year ive temporarily moved halfway across the world to be with my fiance of 8 years in an attempt to make this#move permanent and... ive done nothing truly significant#i wanted to work in languages as a teen primarily because i loved hetalia at the time and it sparked my desire to truly understand history#and culture and communication and finally connect with people#it really should have been obvious to the career coach lady that i was autistic seriosuly how the fuck did it go unnoticed by everyone#except my mother and she didnt even support me properly!#youd think that this anxiety would propel me into doing the things i want to do which rn is photography#but nope! all it does is make me scared to sleep because what if thats the last time i close my eyes and i dont know it?!#so now im here occasionally publishing my silly tiktok videos#doing my best to not backhand mil or shake my fiance because they talk like a baby sometimes and that sets off various buttons with me#for reasons i havent fully figured out yet#i have so many friends and interests and the family i still speak to is lovely and supportive#though lets not get into nanny getting old and knowing that itll be time to say goodbye to her though hopefully not for another decade#but yeah. my brain sucks i cant afford to go back to therapy rn because im unemplyed#the job hunt sucks cause canadas job market is somehow worse than englands and i cant even get financial support here cause temp resident#and every so often my brain just throws this existential bullshit at me for no reason#im gonna go do the souless job search now#and set this to not be reblogged because frankly no one needs to be inflicted with this in their head
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David Tennant interview at the British LGBT Awards, June 2024 (x)
Int: You being an ally to the community isn't something new. You've been doing it, but recently you've obviously really stepped up for trans and non-binary people in a time that's so, so needed. What made you do that?
David: I don't know that I feel like I've done anything that I wouldn't just sort of be normally doing. I mean, it's for me it's just common sense that there's there should be any suggestion that people aren't allowed to live the life they want to live and and to be who they want to be with and to express themselves wholeheartedly. I mean, as long as you aren't hurting anybody else, everybody else just needs to fucking butt out. I don't really understand why...
Int: ...it's controversial.
David: Yeah, there is and the thing... the thing, if there's something that's particularly sobering and depressing, it's that certain debates are being weaponized by certain elements of the political class, often for no... it seems it's not ideological so much as opportunistic. And I just think that's pretty disgusting, really.
Int: I couldn't agree more. What message would you like to send out to trans youth?
David: Please don't feel like you're not loved and that you're not accepted and that you're not... you know, most people in the world are good and kind and just want you to be able to be who you are. Most people in the world don't really care. I mean... you know what I mean?
Int: We're all narcissistic.
David: Exactly. Everyone's so self obsessed that really, the sort of noise that comes from a certain area of the press and of the political class is... it's a minority. It really is. And please don't let that make you feel diminished or dissuaded or discouraged, because, you know, you just... you have to be allowed to be yourself, and you are, and you are yourself and you must thrive and flourish, and we're all here for it.
Int: Amazing. I think, yeah, it's so important .I think sometimes it feels like there's so many people, but it is a minority. It's such a minority.
David: It's a tiny bunch of little whinging fuckers that are on the wrong side of history and they'll all go away soon.
Int: Like what happened with gay people 20 years ago.
David: When I was a kid, when I was a kid, exactly. You know, I was at school when Clause 28 came in and it all felt like being gay was something to be terrified of. And gay men in particular were demonised as paedophiles and now that just feels historic and ludicrous and, I mean, I don't see all those... all those battles aren't won, but we're in a very, very different place. And I feel like.I feel like history is on a progressive trajectory and it might get knocked sideways now and again by people for all sorts of reasons, which are often quite selfish and quite, as I say, not coming from a place of any sort of genuine belief system, but other than a place of opportunism. And that's something that we... I hope that in 20 years time, we're talking about, you know, these culture wars as something of the past.
Int: I believe we will. I'm a huge Doctor Who fan, so.
David: Oh, good, me too!
Int: You are my Doctor.
David: Oh, thank you very much.
Int: But recently, obviously, you came back for the 60th anniversary and you got to work with Yasmin Finney.
David: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Int: What was it like working with her?
David: Oh, she's brilliant. She's fantastic. Yeah. And she's in the show again now, she's back in it, so that's fantastic to see. She's lovely, talented, cool as a cucumber, articulate, brilliant. I learned a lot from her as an actor and also as someone who, you know, who's become a sort of de facto activist just because of who she is and where she is, and she becomes a sort of symbol of hope, and she's wonderful.
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